Valentine’s $$$
By Herb Williams, Inland Empire Branch
We remember Saint Valentine as a priest who was martyred and executed in the
early days of Christianity. The date, February 14, coincides with his death
and the pairing of birds and the choosing of partners, and the heart became
the symbol of love rather than the brain, where the emotion really exists,
because the brain was too hard to draw.
Today, Valentine’s Day has become much bigger than remembering the saint who
started it all. It has become as big an event as Christmas for giving gifts,
and pity the poor guy who doesn’t remember the date, take it seriously, or
go into debt to show his affection for his sweetheart.
In the spirit of those considerations, I purchased a Valentine’s Day card
for my wife. Although it was somewhat larger than most cards in the rack, I
was really struck by the price – almost five dollars, including tax. I
questioned not only the price but also the inconsiderate state tax on love.
There were some less expensive cards available, some costing only 99 cents.
But try to get away with buying a cheaper card. Since the price of the card
is printed on the back, and since the cost and the sentiment are of almost
equal value, I knew it would be foolish to let my loved one see $.99 when
she knew there were some cards available for $4.50. Of course, the verse
inside the card I bought was much more romantic than the one inside the
99-cent cards. It had better be, it’s almost to the point where it is becoming
too costly to ask someone to be your valentine.
Of course, we all want to give our “honeys” more than just a card,
right? Well, love comes at a price (“worth every penny, you bet,” was
scribbled on my notes for this column), at least on Valentine’s Day. The
shopping list (all prices are approximate, and may vary according to your
expense account, and may only apply if you “really” love your “sweetie
pie”), includes $20 for See’s chocolates (two pounds at least); $78 for a
dozen roses from an FTD florist; $160 for a day at a spa in Palm Springs;
$45 for a nightie from Victoria’s Secret (go nuts and also buy her a string
bikini, with zebra print trim – only $78); $750 for a gold heart locket; $110
for dinner and dancing; and $525 for a beachfront room at a Santa Monica
hotel.
Perhaps on a more practical level, you could offer your sweetheart a list of
meaningful, if somewhat less romantic, gift ideas. Among them, you could
propose a financial or retirement savings plan; a road map to where
financial records are kept; or even a will (yours preferably). To avoid
turning her off, mention these things in the presence of lighted candles or
soft light, while holding her tenderly, and immediately following these
suggestions have the chocolates and flowers ready, just in case.
This cautionary tale originally appeared in the February 2020 edition of
Fresh Ink, the newsletter of the Inland Empire Branch.